Red

red, drips down 

i paint a rose 

red on my hands as i slice apart the petals in frustration

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

No, a rose by any other name would rot as much as me

Sliced to pieces, capitulated in a perfume bottle

Rotting on a dead woman’s shelf

As the scent starts to follow the dead

red, drips down 

my wrists in droplets 

This addiction, it consumes me

I always thought i’d be addicted to substances

But no, i’m addicted to pain and the sweet life it gives me as it takes away the life in my veins

Addicted to the geometric patterns of the sharp swipes, to the droplets forming until they burst and birth a new stream of red as the skin around turns pink

Addicted to the way it falls off my wrist onto the cold floor of the shower

staining the white tile 

Each droplet that falls, is red mixed with tears

recreating scars that have found their home on me for years 

how is it when i am less whole i feel more myself

i am scared of the person my whole self could be

i thought i’d be better if i stained myself in red 

but instead 

all i can relate to is to the one about which i’ve read 

the fool, proverbs calls him 

a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, 

no, a rose by any other name would rot as much me

sexually abused, used, thrown out by the shoes 

onto the street, and how do i always find myself relating to the seemingly-worst characters in the bible? 

the unnamed anarchists, the fool, the prostitute 

redeem me like you redeemed your daughter rahab 

wash away my scars and bruises 

cover them instead in red with sweet smelling roses 

red, drips down 

the cloth rahab hung from her window 

A prostitute, redeemed for a greater purpose in a single moment

A life unknowing until a single moment where red dripped down that wall, procuring and securing safety

red giving life to foreign men and a prostitute 

and yet we turn our faces away from immigrants and prostitutes ignoring the fact that those were the people God used in this story and to his glory 

we release a stream of disgust to anyone not fitting a white american virgin life, somehow being bold enough to claim God didn’t use the foreign men and prostitute 

the immigrant you voted against, the girl on the corner that you look at with disgust 

red, drips down 

from the body that was laid for us 

abused? that’s just another thing me and jesus can relate on

his body, his perfect body, abused by those in authority 

red 

dripping down from his thorns 

as he carried that cross 

leaving a trail of red 

red, dripped down on golgotha 

staining the dirt as he hung there

red, covering the cross that would become our redemption 

take the sliced pieces of this rose and recreate it with scars but intact and whole

Red, keep it safe from my blades

Give me a red cloth to hang from my window

redeem me like you redeemed your daughter a prostitute 

Red, dripping down from his head